Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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