Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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