I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
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My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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