If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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