Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize