i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize