One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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