he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drake has all the answers
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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