you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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