I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize