The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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