Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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