everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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