i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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