the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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