tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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