she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize