That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You pole danced in your parka.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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