I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize