I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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