Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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