I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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