Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize