I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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