I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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