isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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