Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My penis needs a shock collar
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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