I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
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I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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