Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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