I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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