so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize