Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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