my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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