nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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