you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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