How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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