I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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