I love black thongs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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