Cold hands, warm shart.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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