I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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