Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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