The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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