I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize