In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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