oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
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We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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