Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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