Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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