it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize