i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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