she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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